A New Life

I've just welcomed a new granddaughter to the world. I'm happy to say that mom, dad, and baby are all doing well. I traveled 1,460 miles to be present at the big event, and even though the process did not unfold as the prospective parents had planned, we are all just happy that little Brooke is healthy.

The birth day was quite emotional for me, and I worked hard to keep the tears in check. First of all, almost any birth causes an emotional reaction in a woman. Secondly, it was my daughter giving birth to a baby. Third, it was my daughter hunched over and grimacing with the worst pain of her life. What mother wouldn't feel like crying?

Then, after 27 hours of no sleep and six hours of hard labor, my daughter made the difficult decision to abandon the natural childbirth plan and accept the epidural. I was disappointed that she was not able to bring her baby into the world the way she wanted to, but she had worked so hard and endured so much, and I would never fault her for the decision. Only she could know what was right for her. I fought back the tears so I could be supportive.

After the epidural, she was able to rest a bit. She looked so much better, but there was yet another hitch in the plan ahead. Labor stopped progressing and the baby's heartbeat kept dropping. Everyone did all they could for as long as the doctor would allow it, but finally we couldn't deny the necessity of a c-section. I just drooped inside at the thought of it and again swallowed tears.

Twenty-four hours later, I held my newest grandchild and gazed at that perfect little face...and I just wanted to cry. By the end of this year they will be moving even farther west, and I find that I don't want to be thousands of miles away from this baby. My other grandchildren have grown up far away from me, but this one is a product of a daughter, not a son. This one has a face that I recognize from my daughter's first days, and even from the pictures of my own. This is a child I want to be close to.

Complications stand in the way of sharing the daily life of my new granddaughter. I'm not sure how I could extricate myself from my situation and uproot myself as I have done in the past. And it makes me want to cry.