I Guess I'm Not a Killer Queen

For some reason, I've had songs from Queen running through my mind for the last week or so. One line in particular, from Killer Queen: "To avoid complications, she never kept the same address..." There was a time when I might have understood the logic, but these days, I find it very complicated to use different addresses.

Ever since I took up the nomadic lifestyle in 2004, I've been juggling addresses. I was rarely in one place for more than six months, so it didn't make sense to keep an apartment. But I had to have an address. Over the years, I've used three addresses in Ohio, two in Arizona, and one in New Mexico. I could have used a mailing service, but I get so little mail it wasn't worth paying for it.

In my travels I've learned that you can't get a post office box unless you have a local physical address (if you have a physical address, why would you need a P.O. box?). And you can't even get a library card without proof of residency, such as a rent receipt or a utility bill (I never had any kind of proof like that). So it has been frustrating.

I bumped up against the complications the other day when I prepared my tax return. In the last couple of years, I've tried to consolidate everything to one address -- Mom's. But as I gathered my forms, I realized I'd missed something. One of my W-2s still had my sister's address, and that's the address I used to file last year. What address do I use to file this year? Here's the thing: the school district where Mom lives has a school income tax. I don't want to pay it, but that address is on most of my accounts and such. I don't actually live either of those places! And I can't use the address where I'm currently staying.

Now, looking ahead. This spring I'll be going to stay with my daughter in California. Yes, another address. Except that it would cost several hundred dollars to transfer car registration and get plates and a new driver's license. So I don't want to become a resident. I'll have to keep an Ohio address and just be in California temporarily.

I like being able to move around when I feel like it, but I'm really getting tired of this aspect. For me, not keeping the same address has certainly NOT avoided complications.

How Blogging Can Help Cancer Patients Clarify Goals

Today, a guest post by Melanie Bowen:

How Blogging Can Help Cancer Patients Clarify Goals

When most people think of a cancer center, they think about surgery, chemotherapy and radiation treatments. The University of Pennsylvania's Abramson Cancer Center and Pennsylvania Hospital in Center City offer all of those things, plus they offer workshops on writing. These cancer centers cite a 2007 study in “The Oncologist” showing that patients who write for 20 minutes per day feel measurably better.

A public/private journal in the form of a blog can help provide a support group, enabling family and friends to participate in the patients journey. A blog can also help patients to clarify goals or even write down and maintain a bucket list that they want to accomplish in life. Quality of life is a very important aspect and its never to late to start doing what you’ve always wanted to do little by little.

Psychologists warn patients to be careful about how they approach their goals, desires and lists. One type of goal-setting, known as conditional goal-setting (CGS), can actually contribute to depression, especially in someone diagnosed with a serious illness. With CGS, one’s happiness is conditional upon attaining certain goals. Sharon set high goals early in life, and by age 50, she had a lucrative career, a successful husband, a beautiful daughter and a large, luxurious home. Then it all fell apart. First, her daughter became addicted to drugs, which led to an expensive rehabilitation center. Then her husband’s business began to fail. As the final blow, she was diagnosed with stage IV bladder cancer, which had metastasized to her lungs, and given a doubtful prognosis. She was eventually forced to retire. Money was tight, and the family began looking at smaller houses. Had she been a conditional goal-setter, she would have become seriously depressed.

Instead, she looked at what was right with her life: a close-knit family, supportive friends and her faith. She began writing about her insights in a patient-support blog. In doing so, she discovered a new goal when people began telling her how her blog had changed their lives. She began taking speaking engagements to share her story and soon realized that writing a book was the top dream on her bucket list. She began being proactive about her life, kept up with regular treatments, did things on her own to improve her treatments and sought out advice from others in similar situations to her own. Life has it’s obstacles, but that doesn’t suggest we stop--it only suggest we push harder and keep going!

A bucket list can also involve fitness and nutrition as well which can serve as motivation for wellness. However, to keep it from becoming just another broken resolution, patients should think about what activities bring them joy--how to turn fitness from being a task to fitness being fun. Take a walk and enjoy the scenery close to home, meet new neighbors and also write about your experiences. A small jog can lead you gradually working up to longer distances--and that analogy stand for any goals you set.

Do the things that really matter in life, and then catalog them as achievements! Inspire yourself.